By Logan Becker
Here at DDHS, we love having fun, and Homecoming Week is a perfect example. September 25th was supposed to be the night of the Powderpuff games, the bonfire, and, most importantly, the sanctioned toilet papering of the campus. In a shocking turn of events, we discovered that someone had beaten the faculty to the punch on Wednesday morning. The entire school was covered in toilet paper. The staff has not commented on the subject, making the culprit unknown. Due to this, we at the Cometeer have no suspicions thus far.
Fortunately, whoever did it is good at keeping secrets, so it is doubtful that the culprit(s) will soon be found. Some theories have arisen from the students who claim that the school was air-raided by a fleet of drones sent from Evansville because of recent soccer games, while others claim it was an inside job done by the teachers who wanted to frame some of their students. Regardless of what is believed, it can be agreed that night was terrific. The Cometeer would like to sincerely apologize on behalf of the student body to all students and staff who have to clean all of the toilet paper shenanigans. We salute you.
Hey folks, what you just read was a fake news story written to brighten your day. This column is designed to put students or teachers in wacky situations to create funny news stories. It’s only partly true, and we gladly accept requests. Email the advisor of The Cometeer at kdennis@ddschools.org to nominate a classmate or teacher along with a story idea, and we’ll try to craft a tale or two that features your submission. This is The Becker Bugle, signing off!
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