By Logan Becker
In the middle of a lukewarm January school day, tragedy struck Mr. Alter’s History class. It began with a heated argument between Mr. Alter and sophomore Maya Castro. There is a fine line between answering questions, discussing those answers with peers, and creating distractions in class. The argument ended with Mr. Alter placing his beloved John F. Kennedy bobblehead on Maya’s table to supervise her and her friends. Suddenly, in a fit of rage, Maya swept her arm across the desk and knocked JFK onto the floor; his skull was shattered instantly and his body was split in two.
I had the opportunity to interview Maya on the matter and get some photos of the remnants of JFK’s shattered body. Maya does not feel any remorse for her actions, and is even quoted as saying “no regrets.”
Mr. Alter is still mourning the loss of a great leader since it’s customary to mourn for thirty days after the death of a US president. He feels great wrath towards Maya Castro and demands retribution. When asked how he would punish Maya for committing this travesty, he responded “I’d make Maya piece back together every single broken (but still glorious) shard of JFK’s body.” After I told him that Maya thinks it’s his own fault for the tragedy, he replied, “Well… she was kind of the one who knocked him off the desk. So I think it’s safe to say that it’s her fault.” I also asked him how he felt about Maya’s last name being “Castro” (a subject Maya says he jokes about).
Now that these two had finally given me their sides of the story, it was time to make a final ruling. Was Maya truly responsible for the death of our great leader, or was Mr. Alter to blame? After thinking it over for a good long while, I decided to ask the guy who sits with me in Study Hall, Blake (see his photo below), Ultimately, Blake ruled that it was, in fact, Maya’s fault. Photos of everyone interviewed as well as of the crime scene are shown below.
Crime
Crime
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